EFT Couples Therapy.
In Newburyport, MA and Available Online.
Your relationship is the foundation for everything else in your life. When it’s shaky, it affects everything else. No matter the stage of life you’re in, it’s worth investing in making your relationship stronger than ever.
Why choose Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) over other couples therapy?
EFT is different from other couples therapy because it provides a clear roadmap to help you and your partner get back in connection. This roadmap is informed by the latest research in neuroscience and psychology, and it’s backed by research and clinical trials. It gets results!
Using this model, you'll see that I don’t place blame on you or your partner. There’s no “bad guy." Instead, we are united in working together to face down the real issue in your relationship which we call: “The Cycle."
The good news: It’s normal for couples to get caught in it AND we know the way out!
We know that you and your partner each have a style of coping in relationships that is hard-wired. The interaction between your style and your partner’s style is what creates your unique version of “The Cycle." You may not even realize your style and the beginning of the therapy will help you to identify that.
To learn more about “The Cycle” check out this episode of my podcast ⟶
See “The Cycle” in action.
I often recommend this video that beautifully illustrates exactly how “The Cycle” is started, and how we use EFT to help couples out of it. Watch it and see if you recognize yourself and your partner in it.
Note that this video illustrates the version of “The Cycle” that we see most often, but of course every couple varies.
You might be struggling with...
Feeling more like roommates than a couple.
You feel like you are living parallel lives instead of living life together. You used to have a strong bond-but maybe now it’s hard to remember why. When you want to reach out to your partner, you aren’t even sure how to do that anymore. Maybe you feel nervous that the distance has just become too great.
Loss of your sexual connection.
The spark and chemistry you once enjoyed in your relationship has fizzled and you aren’t sure how (or if) you can get it back. It might be one or both of you who has had a change in your level of desire, but either way, it’s left you both feeling unsatisfied. I want you to know this is a common issue and we will work together to help you try to find it again.
Pregnancy, fertility or parenting issues.
You want what’s best for your child (even if that child hasn't been conceived yet). Perhaps that's given you new energy to address issues between you and your partner. I’ve worked with many couples through the inevitable ups and downs of becoming parents and also with the difficult decision to stop trying to conceive.
Infidelity.
An affair shakes your relationship at its very core. It can call everything about your relationship into question. Many couples find that it’s difficult to move past it on their own. I have years of experience helping couples through this and specific tools to help couples who are in your shoes.
The “Empty Nest”.
Whether you’ve been looking forward to it or facing it with dread, either way, the kids are out of the house, and all of a sudden everything is different. Perhaps you aren’t sure who you are without them around. As a couple maybe it’s not as easy as you thought it would be to connect. I have used EFT with many couples in this very situation.
Profound loss of a loved one.
If you’ve experienced the loss of a child or important loved one, it can impact your relationship in unexpected ways. There is, of course, sadness. But grief often involves other complex feelings like anger and guilt that can be difficult to process alone. I have helped couples just like you get through their darkest hours and move through their experience of loss together.
I get it. If you’re like most couples, you’d rather not have to see me.
People often feel nervous about starting with a couples therapist. You might feel nervous about whether I’ll favor your partner over you. You might worry about what your partner will say about you. Maybe you worry that I’ll say that your relationship is too far gone, or that it’s a lost cause.
Here’s what I can tell you:
I use a treatment model that doesn’t use blame but instead focuses on the pattern that is created by the unique mix of you and your partner’s hardwired style of coping. No “bad guy” here.
My clients say one of my greatest strengths is holding the hope for their relationship, even in their darkest moments.
I love to laugh and connect. I’ll try to make this process as painless as possible.
